Hard Work

You gotta want it.

You gotta work for it.

You gotta suffer.

Do it alone.

Strive to thrive.

Web-camming keeps you afloat, but it’s the real hard work that is going to last.

I’ve been doing a lot of that “hard work” stuff lately. (Yet I’m hardly even scratching the surface of the dust on the hard work.) Building knowledge and experience. I’m growing. I’m getting there. But damn this webcam income is so easy and hard to beat. 

I gotta figure some shit out.

Get out.

Get going.

I want to run, run, run, but I have to just jog and take it easy.

I want shit to be done NOW. But then I realize I need to relax and let things fall into place.

Life is a real fucking lesson ain’t it?

Slow down, appreciate the moment, and stop wanting more. But what would I be, WHO would I be if I wasn’t constantly trying to get better, stronger, faster, smarter?

Sick to my stomach, I couldn’t figure out where it came from. Now I know. It’s change. It’s a roller coaster. It’s life warning me that this is it. Time to go. Time to move on. Suck it up. Live smaller. Spend less. Save more. Find happiness. Quit the bullshit.

How are you making it? How are you getting by? What’s making you tick? What makes you work harder? Why cam if it’s not for something bigger and better?

You MUST want more. I do. Wanting more has always got me into trouble up until now. Now I’m finally channeling it into my career, and it’s going my way. It’s turning into something bigger and better. And will keep growing, as long as I buckle down and stay there.

Pursuit of happiness…happiness is a fleeting emotion, not a destination.

Dreams change in life. When you get them you realize, “This isn’t what I want. This isn’t what I need right now.” I thought I wanted that beach house, that lazy life of nothingness. I don’t. I’ve changed. I want more. I want activity. I want socialization. I want… right now.. I want a big city. Big lights. Experience. Culture.

Maybe later. Much Later. I’ll want something like this quiet town. But right now, I’m young. And I need something else. I need experience. I need LIFE.

So if you’re a girl reading this, cuz you googled webcamming, just remember what you want at the end. If you want to be a teacher or work any government job, forgettaboutit!

If your anyone else reading this, go get yours. Go for “Rome.” Go for your goal. And don’t let any ONE or any THING get in your way! Get it. 

 

Full Time Job, But Still Camming?

Why would I still hop on cam even after working 6 days a week?

I’m not making enough money…yet.

I’m doing what I love, and I do it 6 days a week, (you could say 7 by answering emails, phone calls, and writing exercises and meal plans), but I’m still not making as much as I want to make.

And until I do, I’m still going on cam to make those extra bucks.

Sure, I’m not proud of dancing around for the big bux, but I do have fun and make money to live. Until I can officially make this much money off cam, I’ll be coming on when I can, working by dancing, and communicating with the guys about health and fitness.

Believe it not, we talk a lot about my job while on cam! I’m a 24/7 health and wellness coach. It’s awesome.

So, girls, even after you get your dream job, don’t expect to be making the same amount of money…or even 1/4 of it. I was really surprised at my first “real” paycheck, I gotta say. After waking up at 4-5am every single day, and then getting this tiny little check that I had made in less than a minute before by just being myself…I was let down. But then I told myself, you know what? I worked that hard, and that long, and was fulfilled. I am happy doing what I do all day, even if it doesn’t make the rent. It makes me happy! And that’s what matters when I lie down to sleep. I feel good about myself.

And if going on cam a few times a week makes the bills, I can handle it. Because all day, I do what makes me happy, makes me smile, fills me with joy, helps others, and makes others smile. So there! And maybe. Just MAYBE. all this do-gooding will come back to me and make me the amount of money I would enjoy making.

Hard work pays off…so hard work I must do.

World on a String

Frank Sinatra

The Time Has Finally Come.

It’s here.

The time.

That I’ve been waiting for.

That you’ve been waiting for.

To see a “cam girl” move on from the “cam world” and do something worth her life.

Worth her while.

Worth my while.

I’ve been working hard for 2.5 years, saving up, making decisions, getting degrees and things, and forming my soul-searched-for career.

I’ve done it. I’m finally able to step away from the cam as a “need” and go to it as a “supplemental” part of my life, instead of a main income.

It’s now the side job. It’s now the extra cash for the weekend.

It’s not the bills. It’s not the food. It’s not the gas.

Finally, it will be the shoes, the clothes, the dinners, I’ve always wanted but never had the gall to buy because saving up and realizing my dream came first.

I’ve got my dream. I’ve got my plan. And it’s in full-fledge action. I’m moving to Maine, working my dream job, and creating my dream career. And this, this cam job, just helped me get there.

I’m happy. And in a week, I’ll be on my way to being even happier. I’ve finally done it. The time has come for this bud to blossom. From a lost little soul, enjoying her time dancing around her living room, to a grown woman, ready to live the life she’s always dreamt up.

Ahhhh it feels good. And nothing is holding me back. No one.

“I’ve got the world on a string….” comes to mind. 🙂

Slowly but surely, I won’t be on cam any longer. And that day…that day will be one worth celebrating. I’m stepping away, one stair at a time. I feel my distance from the camera and my happiness floating higher. Life is what you make it and I’m ready to make it my dream come true.

Love. Meaning. Passion. Spirit. Enthusiasm. It is… great.

 

One Step Closer

One step closer to the life I want to live. 

One step closer to the love I’m gonna give. 

One step closer to the day I’m gonna leave. 

One step closer to me. 

 

One day closer to the exit of this frame. 

One day closer to less of this pain. 

One day closer to something worth my time.

One day closer to mine.

To all my Models:  As I’ve said before, work towards your life goal. Don’t make camming your job, your hobby, or your fun. It is a means to an end of a game you are only temporarily playing. Get yours and get out. Don’t join in this if you already have a life set up. Use this to set up your life. I can taste the fresh air of the new career I am forming. I am on cam less and less. Yet, I am not there yet.  I can’t wait till I am, and I hope you feel the same way. I accomplished something big for my future career today, and am  working on the very next steps. The closer you get to your dream life, the farther it should be away from this. 

Honesty

I gotta be honest…cam modeling can sure get depressing. Yeah, sure, the pay is good. And I don’t have financial worries like the rest of the world’s source of stress, but the damn gig gets me down sometimes. After 2 years, I’m really sick of having to depend on guys to tip me for my income. Guys to fall for my personality to stick around, since I’m not getting naked like the rest of them. It’s easy to flash your tits, lift your shirt for money; the hard part is pouring your personality, character, and good soul into entertaining the people. My followers, the non-nude fans, want me for me…and the hopes one day I’ll get naked and they’ll be the first to see it all exposed.

But as the days go on, I just want out. I’m SO close to starting my dream job and every day that I’m not doing it, I’m on cam shaking my ass and shimmying my tits. I’m more than this, and I know it.

I’m going on cam way less than ever before. Weaning myself off the huge income and onto a simpler life. I may be downgrading my vaulted-ceilings for normal ones this coming summer…who knows what I’ll simplify. But really, my dream job is never gonna make me rich- just happy. And that is what life is truly about.

Most dying people regret working so hard and not following their dreams. Well, I’m the opposite. I’m going to love working hard AT my dreams. For my dream life. A mediocre house in the suburbs, a nice family and dog, and helping people be healthy and happy.

Happiness. Believe it or not, it’s a choice. You have to LET yourself be happy. Let go of the past things that piss you off, even if it was just yesterday. Let go when people cut you off or flip you the bird, even when you’re going 80 yourself. Letting go of things and living for yourself (and loved ones) is oh-so important.

I’m going to end my lavish run on cam with a nice vacation, and then get down to the nitty gritty, day-to-day, normal job. A normal life. Trust me, more people want normal than lavish. rich. expensive.

It’s true: Mo’ money, mo’ problems. No doubt.

So no, I don’t want a five-headed shower, heated tile floor, electric wine opener, or gold dusted appetizers cooked by a home chef. I don’t want a mercedes, BMW, or Porsche. America drives people into jobs they don’t want, to buy things they don’t need. It truly is ridiculous. It’s the little things in life that matter. The laugh. The kiss. The warm hug. When someone pulls you close. The coffee break. The home-cooked meal. The look in his eyes. The jokes. The walks in the park. The all night talks. Truly, find what matters in life and forget the rest.

My advice: don’t become a cam model. Work a normal job and enjoy knowing you have nothing to hide, ever.

Tips and Stories of A WebCam Model; Never Nude

• 
  How did you first get started in the webcam business?
  I have been on a webcam since I was 14 years old, dancing around for fun and chatting with friends. When I turned 18, I found out I could get paid to do the exact same thing, without getting naked or doing anything sexual. I said,”Why not?” and started getting paid to play the piano on cam. I learned how to make the real money, and what it was all about as I continued on a site called “Cam Pals.” The name “CamPals” even made me think it was just about being paid to be friends with people online.
• What was your first experience on cam like?
  I had fun. I was used to being on cam for 4 years already, so I just did what I was used to doing: dance, talk, and entertain.
• Which cam networks have you worked on?
  I started on CamPals and then went over to MyFreeCams.
• Are you comfortable telling your friends about your online work?
  All of my friends and closest family members know what I do. They know I don’t get naked, and think it is fantastic that I am going against the curve, like I have been doing my whole life. Some even come and watch me work some nights. It’s no big deal. I’ve even worked with my mom in the same room, as I cooked and danced in the kitchen.
• What do you like most about your online work?
  The attention and the money are great. Every girl wants to be in the limelight, slathered in flattery, and get paid to be themselves. I make more on webcam than any other job I’ve ever done; even after getting my degree.
• Have you had any bad experiences?
  Yes. I’ve had a major stalker come from Australia who found my name, number, and address. It was very scary.
• You call yourself “The Number One Never Nude,” what’s your secret to success?
  There is no secret. I am myself. I keep my clothes on. And I don’t give in, no matter how many tokens or money I am offered. Really, I’m the only “never-nude” I know of on the web. So by default, I am number one. There are girls who say they don’t get naked, but if you take them private or on skype, they are masturbating for you. I don’t lie. I’m honest. I’m genuine.
• Are there any unique challenges for performing only non-nude shows?
  The unique challenge is when people think your privates couldn’t possibly be worth the time and cash. I love it when they take me and I prove them wrong. These ones normally become addicted and want to see me every night after that! Some girls talk shit about me on the web, saying I scam people, but everyone who reads my profile, topic, or listens to me speak knows I don’t get naked, dance in bra and panties, or even do nipple slips. I’ve got a clean record of no nudity, no slip-ups, and I like to keep it that way. Many men and most of my paying customers respect me and pay me more just because they know I am not going to give in, to anyone.
• What advice would you give to a new camgirl just getting started?
  I would say, beware. Beware of the men who want to “get to know you personally.” Beware of the tempting money offers, because you will probably regret it. And, “Do Not Forget Who You Truly Are!”

  I used to have this thing going where I would recruit girls to be a part of my never-nude crew. I knew many girls who needed money and I thought, “If I can make so much and have so much fun, why not help my friends?”

  I recruited a best friend of mine and she totally turned out to be the biggest slut I’ve ever met. I never knew this about her until I introduced her to a webcam. She showed that side of her to me that she never had before. She used and abused men for their money or drugs, did skype sex shows without telling me, and even met men for sex in cars to get money, drugs, or flights. It was very heart-breaking to see someone destroy themselves and their entire reputation in a matter of months. She did many evil things to me as well, including harassing my friends and family. I’m not blaming the webcam world for it all, but it will definitely open doors to a Hell that one could never imagine.

• Do you have any other camgirl tips you’d like to share with my readers?
  Don’t get greedy. Enjoy the fact you’re making more than $8.50 an hour like most Americans right now. Save money for your real passion and to do what you truly love. Rather it be a chef, a designer, an artist, writer, or anything else, don’t plan on being a cam model forever. Make your money while you can, in the most moralistic way possible, and then leave without leaving anything online that will hurt you in your future endeavors.

  No, you will not be able to be a teacher, political figure, or public icon. No, it will not make you famous. And no, it will not make you any better than you are before you started.

  Find a boyfriend who understands and cares for you and your work. Relationships and trust are very challenging as a webcam model, and most guys will become jealous of the guys you are entertaining online. Don’t get with a douchebag who will abuse your opportunity.

Thoughts of Quitting

There will be days when you want to quit and just get a normal job. I’ve had this feeling lately since I’ve started my training to become what I truly want to be. I love doing my “day activities” and start dreading “working” all night to pay the bills. It has officially become a job that I lag on getting ready to go to. Before it was more fun. I loved making super easy money, quickly, painlessly. Now I want more. (Like always)

I enjoy being a “normal” person. Studying, business meetings, and working. But I still can’t pay my ridiculous bills because I have based them on this incredible income. I told myself I wouldn’t do this, yet here I am: relying on this job to pay the rent and bills. The high rent, the laundry list of bills, and the help that people expect from me. I’ve created my own debt and now am obligated to go on daily to pay it. That’s life!

Sure, I can still have fun. I can relieve stress from dancing it away, and I get some good convos in the meantime (sometimes). It’s better than most jobs out there, and pays a lot more. I decided when this lease ends I’m getting a tiny place, maybe even a studio, so I can work a 9-5 if I want, and not be obligated to such a high paying position. And then I can go on when I please, and make extra cash for fun.

To all the models out there, even if you’re making big money, don’t rely on it as your main income. Just put it away and live as if you make 8.50 an hour. Because when it comes down to it, eventually that is all you’re going to make unless you get a graduate degree or training, (which I’m currently in) for a job that will pay that $75-100 an hour (if you get really good at whatever that dream is).

In the mean time, listen to good tunes. Surround yourself with good people. Enjoy your family. And stop thinking about what you’re going to do with that 10,000 token tip you randomly got. You’ll need it to pay the bills.

I’m lucky to have this opportunity to make this much money. Everyone around me is struggling to make it by. So don’t complain to me about not being able to afford that $550 purse, and enjoy the roof over your head, shirt on your back, and food in your fridge.

If you’re some random old member-reader of this, feel free to give me an offline tip and make my life a little easier. Give me more time to study and train, instead of dance around for cash. Thanks.

Saving Up For Studies

If one day I become big enough in my career where they do a full on scandalous background check and find that I was once a  webcam model, I am here to say one thing: I did it to make it. I did it to save the money I needed to do the career I wanted. Some girls waitress, but that money isn’t enough to even get by. Some girls dance, but then they have high risks of stalkers and people touching them. Well I webcam model and live responsibly. I save my money wisely, as well as spend it accordingly to live a proper life later. Right now I am working on saving up for a graduate-style program. No it’s not a PH.D or masters, but it is something that I love with all my heart. I’ve loved it a long time, and finally am getting the nerve to do it. I just need to save up as much as possible to make it to where I want to be. And after my program, I will be ready to start my official career that will take off into my dream.

To all those other models out there hear this now: save your money! Don’t spend it on clothes, shoes, and frivolous outings. Save up as much as you can because this isn’t going to last forever. Put a roof over your head, a standard shirt on your back, and food in your tummy. Put the rest away for your dream career. Whatever it may be: nursing school, kindergarten teacher, police officer, pastry chef- whatever it is, please! Save it now and don’t touch it.

On your time off cam, take a minute to find yourself. Find your talents. Find your dream job. Make it a place in your heart, save your money and go for it.

Personal Space

Being a webcam model is an interesting “job” to say the least. When I “Go Live” I am hoping to make a certain amount each night. First thing to come to mind is the money. Get the tokens and get off. But then comes the chat. Then comes the people. They’re real people on the other end and I can’t help but strike a conversation. Oddly enough, some guys look for a girl with personality along with her sexiness. They pay to chat, to hear funny stories, and just have a good time with a pretty lady. Some are from the army, or at least claim this background with all their might, and others are in parts of the world that are secluded to pretty women. I’m not claiming to be that “pretty girl” at all. They just tell me these things.

It is a weird concept to chat to these fans who we might as well call friends. Facebook conversations happen outside of being live on webcam. Connections are made and pictures are seen. Real life occurrences happen over the net, and its no longer just a “job.” It becomes a personal experience. Relationships are formed and emotions are felt. When you first start to cam “model” it’s just about making ends meet, getting the bills paid. But then it becomes so much more. Gifts are given, birthdays are celebrated, days are remembered. Memories are made on the webcam. Across cities, states, and countries, people connect through this tiny Logitech Lens.

Sadly, I’ve had some people cross these boundaries and enter my real life. Stalkers have found my address, guys have crossed the line, and even some tried suicide. Crazy shit! It drove me away from the webcam for months, making me think “what the hell is wrong with people?” And now I’m back. With a different outlook than before, I carefully chat and let people know my boundaries will NOT be crossed! What possesses someone to want to meet me? I’m not famous in any contents. I don’t have paparazzi. I have lonely guys trying to reach out to me for just a second of my time. It is truly sad when you consider it, and most don’t mean ANY harm at all. It just freaks ME out as a young woman who originally came on cam to just “make ends meet.” And now I’ve ended up as an icon for the never-nude models? I don’t know. Webcamming is a whole lot deeper than the tokens.

I am told to not let my emotions be provoked. I am told to keep my emotional distance. This is the hard part. Staying close enough to be internet friends, but far enough to not let on any ideas that these guys will ever meet me In Person. Webcam okay, facebook chat okay, but hugs? No thanks.

Some say I am cold; I say I am cautious. As webcam models, we must keep our distance at the right amount. Not too close, not too far. Just right.

Sometimes I feel bad for just leaving some of these guys who are trying desperately to keep the conversation going, but I have to remind myself: this is my job, but these are real people. Everyone wants a connection. Nobody wants to be alone. And some of these people actually have interesting things to say, cool ideas, and funny remarks. Some of these watchers, who don’t pay me take it off but keep it on, are real, down to earth, men. And I wonder, why aren’t they out meeting great women to be by their side? Or what situation are they in at home that they feel the need to chat to me? What makes ME different than the rest of the women? Well, I try. I listen and respond. I get into it, admittedly. I do. And I get lost.And I get honest. And.. they see that. All live happening. And they come back, and see that this girl is real, no matter how hard she tries to act or fake it, she is real. She is here with us.